an update

This cancer journey has been full of peaks and valleys, days where I feel like a “normal” 27-year-old and times I don’t even recognize myself. It has been a year since my thumb rolled over that swollen lymph node in my armpit and the journey since that day has, in some ways been exactly what most would expect—difficult, gut-wrenching and long; but it has also been an exhilarating walk with God that has taught me so much about life. This week is full of emotion as I can still feel exactly how I felt every day during this week one year ago. On this day, I was in the car driving to Matador, staying the night with my in-laws as I made my way to Colorado to have the lump we all thought was “no big deal” looked at. By the end of this week my life changed forever. Then, I was full of fear and anger, now although fear still creeps in I’m filled with thanksgiving and complete understanding of why God chose me. I see life completely differently now. I laugh louder (who knew that was possible) I love harder, I choose kindness, I stop to notice the beauty around me and I appreciate every day so much more.

This journey hasn’t been easy, since completing my double mastectomy in April I have been introduced to chemo. We have a love hate relationship. Since May 26, I have completed 12 weekly rounds of Taxol. This for me, was the “easier” chemo. Infusions lasted about one-and-a-half hours and I was relatively unaffected by the drug. I liked Taxol, we were friends. Since then, I have switched to Adriamycin and Cytoxan (AC). I’ve completed two of my four infusions and although I’m grateful for this lifesaving drug, it hasn’t been as good to me. I was feeling pretty confident when I started AC because Taxol had been so easy. I learned quickly they weren’t even in the same league. AC infusions take about three hours, half of that time is spent on premeds for nausea caused by the chemo. The Monday following my first AC treatment was the worst day I’ve had so far. I was just sick, I never threw up but I just felt really awful. It wasn’t the best first experience and it really made me dread the next three treatments.

My mom also took AC during her cancer treatment in 2003 and I was so glad she was here to go with Cade and me to my first AC treatment in Houston on August 18. We weren’t really sure how I would react to the chemo so she drove instead of flying which would allow her to stay here as long as I needed her. Monday was a really tough day, Tuesday was a lot better and mom decided she would head back to Colorado Wednesday, August 23. I had no intention of going with her, I wanted to stay with Cade and continue to recover. God had other plans though. As my mom started to pack her bags and set them by the door Tuesday evening, my heart started leaning toward going with her. I talked to Cade about it and he encouraged me to go home for a few days and recharge if that was what I wanted to do. So, I packed a small bag and the next morning I loaded up with my mom to make the 13-hour drive home. As the next days unfolded, hurricane Harvey would make landfall in Texas wreaking havoc on the gulf coast, eventually dumping a historical amount of rain on Houston. My family and I watched the extraordinary devastation unfold on TV as the sun shined and our hearts broke for all of the Texans in the storm’s path. As the weekend progressed, MD Anderson closed due to flooding but we thought for sure they would open by Monday. The beginning of the week rolled around and it was still raining in Houston. I was scheduled for chemo Friday, September 1 and it was beginning to look like it would not be an option for me to receive treatment at MDA. I sent my team an email Monday morning just to see what they were thinking. Within in twelve minutes, twelve minutes yall, my amazing oncologist, Dr. K called me and we quickly began working on a plan for me to receive treatment at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center (RMCC) in Denver with Dr. Paul (my first oncologist). I’m on a dose dense treatment plan for AC and infusion timing is critical in order to effectively wipe out cancer cells. Dr. K and Dr. Paul worked closely to make sure my treatments continued as planned and I’m so grateful for their commitment to my health during such a difficult time. During all of this Cade was still in College Station completing a rotation at the vet school. We created a treatment schedule in May and had assigned dates to family members who volunteered to take me to chemo. Cade is allotted one two-week vacation during his fourth year and we had decided the best time to take that would be for AC number two. We had agreed everyone might be a bit fatigued from the weekly Taxol treatments and it worked out best with his schedule to take vacation then. We blindly chose a date and God showed up big time. This is how powerful our God is, He got me to Colorado out of the storm’s path, He orchestrated Cade’s vacation where it aligned perfectly with our improvised treatment schedule and He got us to Denver where I seamlessly received lifesaving drugs. I continuously preach about how God is clearing this path for me but each time I step back and see His work I am in awe. We serve an almighty God and I am so, so, so grateful for his many blessings.   

AC number two went much better than the first and I think it might have had something to do with our decision for me to receive a bag of fluids Saturday morning at RMCC before going back to La Junta. I didn’t feel 100 percent like myself Sunday and I was just dreading Monday. The next day rolled around and I felt relatively good. I was so relieved! Cade and I left Tuesday to make our way back to College Station. We are home now and I will receive AC number three in Houston Friday—exactly one year since the phone call that changed our lives. Although I am still actively in treatment, getting to this point used to seem impossible. Now, I’m almost done with chemo. The final step will be radiation, which will I will start the beginning of November. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, what a wonderful feeling that is!