I never really knew how to pray before cancer came into my life. We would go to church and I struggled find the words to talk to God. Before cancer I wasn’t grateful to just be alive. I was grateful for things like promotions and a good hair day, but I forgot to be thankful for the days I was given. My life was on autopilot. I was exactly where I wanted to be at 26, but even given my perfect circumstances I still didn’t give thanks to God. These days, I thank God for bowel movements and nausea pills. It’s been humbling. But I think that’s the point. I believed in God but I wasn’t letting Him into my life. Now we have long talks daily and I know I couldn’t face this diagnosis without Him. Even with Him though, I have tough days. Lately, I struggle with jealousy. I see workers at Jimmy Johns laughing and joking with each other or people on coffee dates and I yearn to be that carefree again. I look at pictures from our wedding hanging on the walls of our home and I want to be that girl again so much it hurts. I’ve had to realize I don’t know what those people are dealing with, they might also be facing something incredibly difficult, and like me they put a smile on to get through the day. And although I’ll never be the “me” from two years ago again, the person I’m morphing into now will forever be stronger, funnier and more empathetic. I’ve also grappled a lot with guilt as I try to understand why this happened to me at such a young age. Initially, I blamed myself. If I hadn’t drank that soda or if I had worked out more often or ate a carrot that day those cancer cells wouldn’t have found each other. As I’ve had time to process though, I’ve realized this is just the way my life was supposed to go. This is part of the Lords plan for me, and by the time this is over I think it will be my plan too.
On difficult days Cade reminds me of the blessings we’ve received. The PARP inhibitor I’ve been taking is one of them. On December 9, I had my first ultrasound since starting the drug in October. My primary tumor had shrunk 97% and my big ass lymph node had shrunk 80%. I was completely blown away when the oncologist told me the news. I really believe going to MD Anderson and taking this drug was all God’s work. I will continue taking the PARP inhibitor until March 31. About four weeks later I will undergo surgery. Right now, I’m trying to decide what surgical approach will be best for me. Prayers for peace and clarity as I work through options would be so appreciated.
As I reflect on things I am grateful for, y’all are one of the biggest blessings to me during this journey. I never dreamed I would receive the steady stream of support you all continue to send my way. This is a thank you letter I wrote for Cade’s local paper, but it applies to all of you.
Cancer. Today I have been diagnosed with breast cancer for 98 days. At 26, Cade and I had been busy planning the days; the big days. The day he graduated from veterinary school, the day we bought our first house and the day we started a family. Cancer though, cancer snaps those future days right back to today. Today is day-to-day survival, scans, blood work, tests and doctor appointments. On day eight of my cancer diagnosis we learned I would live—if I underwent treatment. Day eight hurled a chemo regimen at us and by day nine I was reeling from the life saving, but life altering affects of the drug. By day 10 I was stressing about the financial burden I would be placing on Cade and I. There really is no logical way to explain the guilt cancer patients feel as life saving bills begin to pile up. Around day 14 of my diagnosis Cade and I received word that our family, friends and communities were stepping up to the plate for us. You all blew me away every single day of October. There were days tears of gratitude fell and days I just prayed and thanked God for all of you. Now, on day 98, thanks to you, Cade and I can still look forward to all of the days we did before cancer interrupted our lives. But now, we’ve added one more day to our list, we look forward to the day we can give back to our incredible communities. Grateful. Blessed. Thankful. Relieved. Honored. There really are no words to describe how you’ve made us feel during the days of my cancer diagnosis—but thank you. Thank you for your generosity and kindness, it means more to us than you will ever know.
All our Love,
Cade & Katelyn Luckett
**Colorado friends here are couple save the dates for upcoming fundraisers:
January 28: Peacock Pole Angels & Bombshells in Bustiers Burlesque Company
7:00 pm, OJC Ed Stafford Theater, tickets are $10 each {family friendly}
Call/text Darrin Nielsen at 719-980-3392 to order tickets
February 4: Benefit dinner 4-8 pm at Cheraw High School lunchroom. It will be during Cheraw basketball games
Lucketts In Love 